In all relationships.
Across every moment.
There exist power dynamics.
We, each of us, enter daily into relationships defined by perceived and generally accepted power dynamics.
Doctor -> Patient
Teacher -> Student
Parent -> Child
Husband -> Wife
Caregiver -> Caregiven
Therapist -> Client
Officer -> Civilian
Supervisor -> Supervisee
Guard -> Inmate
Employer -> Employee
Note that I’ve included an arrow that places one person in a directly influential role in relation to the other person.
I use the terms “perceived expert,” or PE, and “perceived novice,” or PN.
The relationships above are defined, usually demanded, and often forced by society, history, and tradition. “Interpersonal influence” is the term I use to capture the directionality of power differentials.
The PE exerts influence intentionally. The PN experiences impact internally. PE behaviors directed at PNs have impacts that often do not match stated PE intentions. It’s simple. But it’s important and not often considered.
Let’s return to the first three lines of this piece.
In all relationships.
Across every moment.
There exist power dynamics.
Even within relationships and distinct interactions between peers, moments will occur where one member of the pair BECOMES the perceived expert and the other, the perceived novice. The otherwise balanced dynamic shifts. I would define “peers,” from this framing, as: people in relationship with no perceived status over the other. Perhaps lifelong friends from the same socioeconomic community are working on a project and one has specific expertise in an aspect of the project. In those moments, the peers are no longer, if only for a few moments, peers. The PE, in those moments, has power, or influence, over the momentary PN. It’s very important to point this out, particularly if you care about the impact you have on others in relationship.
Now, let’s return to one type of relationship where a power dynamic is defined elegantly by the compound words.
Caregiver: The giver of care. And caregiven: the one to whom care is given. We might even change the word to focus on the PN. Caregivee: the one who receives care. I am, here, specifically thinking about any adult or significantly older person who, by virtue of a defined caregiving role, influences a child or significantly younger person. It could be a parent, a teacher, a babysitter, or therapist, among other roles. But the caregiver is the perceived expert (PE). And the caregivee is the perceived novice (PN). I use the word “perceived,” to further establish the social, community, organizational, and/or family expectations implied in the relationship.
I contend that it is extremely important that PEs regard the impact they have on PNs while influencing them. Impact, meaning not only behavioral manipulations, but social and emotional triggers. Changes to the PN’s sensing of safety and comfort, or threat and discomfort. I call this, “impact-regarding.” Oftentimes in caregiving relationships, PEs will only consider the behavioral impacts they have on PNs. “Behavioral” meaning, here, the easily observable changes in behavior which comply with or assimilate to PE expectations or demands. However, social and emotional impacts that are both observable and important underlie and drive all observable behavior. Thinking about adults and children, and particularly caregiving adults and vulnerable caregiven children (e.g., Black, Native, disabled, queer, neurodivergent, impoverished), the possibility of doing harm is a real concern. I define “harm,” from this perspective as: any impact experienced by a human as dangerous, threatening, painful, debilitating, traumatizing, damaging, or otherwise triggering a sympathetic nervous system response. The sympathetic nervous system, or SNS, is known commonly as the, “fight, flight, freeze, and/or appease,” brain. It’s what alerts us to danger and/or pain.
We must, as perceived experts, regard the impact we have on perceived novices, and particularly those who are more vulnerable to harm.
In future plain language pieces, I will discuss and illuminate that which I call an impact regarding, social and emotional pedagogy, or way of influencing. Teaching, in the most common term.
Again, I appreciate you being with me on this journey. -G
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