Recently, I was invited to lead an inclusion discussion with young people through the Pittsburgh Chapter of The Friendship Circle. (www.fcpgh.org)
“The Friendship Circle of Pittsburgh was established in 2006 with the intention of creating a more inclusive community. Our programs engage youth and adults with diverse abilities in a full range of social activities; we aim to enrich the lives of all participants through mutually advantageous interactions, creating lasting friendships that strengthen both the Jewish and greater communities.” (FCPgh Mission Statement)
I’ve led staff trainings, provided therapeutic and behavioral consultation, and participated in community activities in the past, but this was my first opportunity to contribute a training session with a group of young people on a FCPgh leadership track.
I would be presenting, for the first time in my life as an inclusionist, a fully integrated training session for an ambitious and incredibly diverse group of teenagers. Fully inclusive inclusion, from leadership through community activities.
It was beautiful. It was precisely as it should be.
And it was terrifying.
Was I truly ready? Would I be able to facilitate a conversation with this diverse group. On the topic of inclusion?!
I’m a meta kind of guy, but this was a level of meta I’d never met.
I looked at my notes, then the group. The most powerful inclusion insights were in the experiences of the 14 or so people sitting around me and would emanate from the group if I simply allowed it to happen. My notes included complex, jargon-filled language illuminating MY experiences, so I set them to the side.
As the staff member greeted everyone and handled initial business, I turned to a white board and I did three things.
First, I offered a very simple definition of “Inclusion” that I always use when I explain to people what I mean when I say I’m an inclusionist. It is: You are here. You belong here.
Next, I drew a picture of a window, then a picture of a mirror. The primary purpose of a window? To view of the outside world through a transparent barrier. And of a mirror? To view oneself as closely as possible. And here I explain that, for me, inclusion must always be a mirror first, not a window. That is, how am I contributing to exclusion or inclusion? How can I take care of my thoughts, behaviors, emotions?
Finally, I wrote the phrase: Everything you say and do has an impact on everyone around you.
I turned, briefly introduced myself and had a word with each participant, then began with that simple definition.
I can’t tell you the experiences of each participant. Only they can do that. I will tell you, however, that I facilitated a 45 minute dialogue with those three core philosophical tenets as guiding principles. And, having done that, I can assert that there is NO OTHER WAY to do inclusion but to do it inclusively.
Seems…obvious, right?
I’m 44 and have sought inclusion and diversity throughout my entire adult life. I have earnestly worked (am still working) through the myriad ways my various demographic layers of privilege contribute to MY being exclusive, and still I’d never, to that point, come upon an “inclusion” endeavor that was actually inclusive.
That has to change.
Disabled, diverse, and disenfranchised people are generally not permitted to self-determine, self-advocate, participate in and guide endeavors impacting them, and be included, fully, in society.
That has to change.
What is inclusion if it’s not inclusive?
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